There\u2019s a reason I don\u2019t sell gift certificates generally.\u00a0 Never mind that some people would be mortally offended to be given a gift of a professional organizer, it would be a waste of money unless the person was ready.\u00a0 They need to decide there\u2019s a better way and to make the effort to change.\u00a0 If I only had a magic wand, this could be different, maybe.\u00a0 When we pause to consider that someone has to be ready to make changes otherwise nothing else will make a long-term difference, we can see how true it is.\u00a0 The first step is that when the pain becomes too great, we\u2019re inspired to figure out alternatives.<\/p>\n
My husband and I have had long interesting conversations about pain.\u00a0 Generally you hear how having a high pain tolerance is a good thing, \u201cit makes you stronger.\u201d\u00a0 I know I associate the idea of a high pain tolerance with resiliency; the strength to make it through whatever comes my way.\u00a0 And we\u2019ve come the conclusion that for many things we have a low tolerance for pain.<\/p>\n
Consider the person who is constantly losing their keys, phone, purse, wallet, etc.\u00a0 I have a friend who struggles with this and they race around in some degree of panic searching \u2013 eventually finding whatever it was and moving along with their day.\u00a0 And it happens again and again; and yet it seems normal to them, it\u2019s just how it is.<\/p>\n
Then there\u2019s other people who\u2019ve lost their keys or whatever, get frustrated, and decide to do things differently \u2013 they get determined.\u00a0 They make a decision for how to avoid it happening and begin to implement that change.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t get fixed overnight and it doesn\u2019t mean that it never happens again.\u00a0 Yet, it does mean that it\u2019s more of a rare occurrence rather than a common one.<\/p>\n
The second example is someone with a low pain tolerance.\u00a0 The \u201cpain\u201d of losing that item is too great to simply continue in the same way \u2013 it instigates the desire for change.\u00a0 The frustration or annoyance is greater than the challenge of finding a new way of doing something and making that new system work. \u00a0This includes failing and faltering along the way to the new system, yet determined to avoid the pain of lost keys with any frequency.<\/p>\n
The frustration of a spouse, parent, or sibling is fairly irrelevant \u2013 the pain has to be yours if true lasting changes are going to be made.\u00a0 And that\u2019s not to say that the frustration of a loved one isn\u2019t motivating, but it can spur movement that is short-lived.\u00a0 Consider the example of alcoholics \u2013 the person needs to make the decision on their own to change otherwise they\u2019ll return to drinking.\u00a0 The impetus for change wasn\u2019t coming from within.\u00a0 The context is irrelevant, the person needs to reach the point where they want things to be different, better.<\/p>\n
Let me be perfectly clear \u2013 we all live our lives the best we can.\u00a0 If you are someone who loses your keys regularly and haven\u2019t done anything about it, that\u2019s fine \u2013 there is no one right way.\u00a0 People can lead great lives while constantly losing their keys, although they might be frustrating their spouse. \ud83d\ude42 \u00a0That\u2019s not the point.\u00a0 If YOU don\u2019t mind losing your keys, what would motivate you to change that?<\/p>\n
As I\u2019ve touched on before, facing changes can be challenging, even when they\u2019re wanted (or positive).\u00a0 Therefore, when the risk of doing something different is less painful than staying the same \u2013 we embark on the process of finding better ways.\u00a0 It might well even be a process of 2 steps forward, 1 step back \u2013 it\u2019s a journey into unfamiliar territory.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a way to learn about yourself and discover that having a low pain tolerance makes you strong.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ever heard of the idea that when the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of the unknown, change occurs? I think it\u2019s more than just that \u2013 our tolerance for frustration influences even wanting to consider doing something differently.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[10,8,18,5,9,7,22,4,17],"class_list":["post-1392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personaldevelopment","tag-behavior","tag-discipline","tag-goals","tag-household","tag-motivation","tag-procrastination","tag-productivity","tag-routines","tag-spaces"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7p82c-ms","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1392"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1396,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions\/1396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}