How do you see yourself?\u00a0 We all have this idea of who we are \u2013 what our strengths are and the things that define us.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s what other people think of us \u2013 how they see us.\u00a0 Often these are based on the plethora of labels available for defining things \u2013 a way to characterize all the things in this world.\u00a0 Yet, do these things end up encompassing who we are \u2013 who any one is?<\/p>\n
It is easy to look at things with the idea that it\u2019s an either-or option \u2013 especially when we look at others.\u00a0 This person is depressed or they\u2019re not.\u00a0 This person is a hoarder or they\u2019re not.\u00a0 This person is an introvert whereas that person is an extravert.\u00a0 This person has ADHD or they don\u2019t.\u00a0 This person is punctual and that person is always late.<\/p>\n
All this is not to say that we don\u2019t or can\u2019t fall into these characteristics in one direction, rather that it\u2019s a limited way to view people.\u00a0 I was sharing with a client that there are things I hoard \u2013 where I struggle to let go of certain things.\u00a0 Her reply was that couldn\u2019t be true, I was a professional organizer after all.\u00a0 Yet, even as a professional organizer, my home has plenty of unnecessary things \u2013 I can be organized as well as cluttered.\u00a0 People are rarely (if ever) so easily captured with labels \u2013 our personality and character are more complex than can be described simply.<\/p>\n
While on the other hand, these labels can also help us.\u00a0 When someone shares that they\u2019re depressed, ADHD, introverted, or whatever, it gives other people some idea about them.\u00a0 They\u2019ll likely be more understanding when behaviors come up \u2013 ah, that apathy\/distraction\/withdrawal\/etc. could be from that<\/i>.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had a number of client that have described themselves as hoarders, or been told by others that they are hoarders.\u00a0 None of the people I\u2019ve worked with would truly qualify for the diagnostic criteria of hoarding, though they might struggle with parts within the hoarding definition.\u00a0 And I talk to them about it \u2013 they are identifying with a label that doesn\u2019t truly apply to them.\u00a0 One of them shared that it helped her to use the term; she felt that it finally offered a frame of reference for her challenges \u2013 a starting point to understanding what they are struggling with.<\/p>\n
Most of the \u201choarders\u201d I work with recognized that using that label limited them \u2013 the negativity confining and draining them.\u00a0 This is where the application of these defining terms can be damaging and hurtful and can apply to any description.\u00a0 The way we use the labels, whether self-applied or given from others, \u2013 and what they mean to us personally \u2013 can have a significant impact on how we approach things.<\/p>\n
Do the labels help you \u2013 give you a frame of reference for understanding, find it empowering to find a way through, or permission to set better boundaries and get more realistic?\u00a0 Or do they end up hurting you \u2013 confining you by their definition, discouraging you \u2013 taking away hope, or do you seize the idea and limit yourself \u2013 \u201csince I\u2019m \u201cx\u201d, I can\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Even our more defining characteristics shift and change \u2013 vary in the short term.\u00a0 People who tend to be adamantly punctual will run late and vice versa.\u00a0 In working with people about their stuff \u2013 some of them tend toward ruthlessly purging stuff and just want to get all of it out and then we\u2019ll run into times where making a decision has become excruciating.\u00a0 Then in the opposite \u2013 people who struggle to make decisions will have times when it\u2019s easy.\u00a0 And this isn\u2019t necessarily a random day \u2013 rather a series of them or \u201cregularly\u201d at some other (often unknown) interval.\u00a0 Just another reason it\u2019s hard to capture a person with labels.<\/p>\n
People are complex \u2013 aren\u2019t you more complex than can be captured with descriptive words?\u00a0 We\u2019re made up of many experiences and characteristics and really we tend to defy being categorized.\u00a0 There are so many factors that influence us \u2013 from those life experiences to the degree of recent self-care (ever notice the impact the amount of sleep can have on your behavior?).\u00a0 Consider the labels \u2013 each one independently of the others \u2013 that you apply to yourself \u2013 do they support or limit you?\u00a0 How can you challenge them \u2013 are they truly accurate or accurate at certain times? Reducing and eliminating the labels that confine you can open up a world of possibilities \u2013 we all need hope to move forward with our goals and dreams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As we look around \u2013 at the world, other people, and ourselves we use words to put things into context. These words can provide an outlook or they can constrain us \u2013 depending on how we view these labels. Consider the impact on yourself and your future if you keep the possibilities open.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[10,8,18,9,7,22],"class_list":["post-1659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personaldevelopment","tag-behavior","tag-discipline","tag-goals","tag-motivation","tag-procrastination","tag-productivity"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7p82c-qL","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1659"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1660,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659\/revisions\/1660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}