{"id":194,"date":"2010-11-10T19:48:13","date_gmt":"2010-11-11T01:48:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/?p=194"},"modified":"2010-11-10T19:48:13","modified_gmt":"2010-11-11T01:48:13","slug":"find-your-curiosity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/2010\/11\/find-your-curiosity\/","title":{"rendered":"Find Your Curiosity"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve talked before about dealing with that other person or persons in the home that just can’t seem to be organized.\u00a0 It is naturally a complex issue and I\u2019ve written some on this already in \u201cHelp, My Partner is a Slob.\u201d<\/a> Since this isn\u2019t simple enough to be covered in one sitting, here is another piece of the puzzle.\u00a0 Can you get to a place of curiosity? Really curious, not pretending so you can complain and dictate how things need to be?<\/p>\n

If you’ve recently been frustrated with how \u201cthey\u201d don’t actually put things away, this is not the time to do anything other than process the feelings.\u00a0 After some time has passed though, you might think about asking some questions as long as you are approaching it from sincere curiosity.\u00a0 Do they know why they don’t put those things away?\u00a0 Can you brainstorm together to see if there is a solution that would work for both of you?<\/p>\n

I worked with a woman who was annoyed about how things did not get dealt with by others in the home.\u00a0 As we worked on an area, there was a place I mentioned we could leave empty, with the idea that she could observe what ended up there.\u00a0 Knowing what items were problematic would help start a talk about what the struggles were.\u00a0 Was it that the item had a “bad” home for that person?\u00a0 Was it just sloppiness, it was easy to drop it there, so it was thoughtless?\u00a0 Was it a reminder for them that they wanted to act soon?\u00a0 Her response was \u201cnope,\u201d and she piled some items up there so nothing could be put there at all.<\/p>\n

If you can actually find a way to be curious about what is going on for that other person, you might discover that there is a simple solution that works for both of you.\u00a0 Or you might find some additional compassion for that person and be willing to step up and do certain things.\u00a0 It can be amazing what a difference understanding what happens for the other person can make in how you feel and react.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve applauded the book, Crucial Conversations before<\/a>, and they spend some talking about curiosity also.\u00a0 There are challenges and when we can be and stay curious, we might find out what is at the bottom of things.\u00a0 The key is that we need to be genuinely curious.\u00a0 Approaching things with that sincere curiosity, it lessens the possibility the other person will respond defensively, and therefore that understanding can be achieved!<\/p>\n

This can apply for us as well.\u00a0 Do you ever stop to wonder why you do something in that particular way?\u00a0 If you avoid the place of blaming yourself, and approach even yourself with curiosity, you might find answers.\u00a0 Just like with dealing with others, if you are berating yourself, you\u2019ll likely struggle to find why those challenges exist.<\/p>\n

As I stated above, dealing with others, whether they are our spouses or our children (or even our parents!), is a complex issue.\u00a0 I\u2019ll probably be writing more about this again!\u00a0 In the meantime, if you can find genuine curiosity for why the other person is that way, you might be able to start a dialogue and make some discoveries that can lead to less frustration.\u00a0 It can be extremely challenging to find that curiosity \u2013 especially if it\u2019s been building for years \u2013 yet if you can, you\u2019ll be open to hearing about them, and that can lead to solutions and that is always a good thing!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If we can discover within ourselves a genuine curiosity about why the other person does such and which, we\u2019re then open to dialogue and thus on the road to a solution that works for both of you. This applies for yourself as well \u2013 if you can avoid berating yourself and look within for ideas, your curiosity might lead you to answers and therefore solutions for yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[10,8,18,22],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personaldevelopment","tag-behavior","tag-discipline","tag-goals","tag-productivity"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7p82c-38","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":196,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions\/196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}