In this line of work, I run into too many people who are busy \u201cshould-ing\u201d on themselves \u2013 \u201cI should have done more\u201d, \u201cI ought to have time for that\u201d, \u201cI never get enough done\u201d and on and on.\u00a0 And my heart breaks a little.\u00a0 I get it, it does hit close to home for me too, yet this doesn\u2019t help anyone get more accomplished.\u00a0 Most often this can even derail our efforts to improve.\u00a0 We\u2019re too preoccupied feeling badly, angry, frustrated, whatever and this doesn\u2019t move us any closer to our goals.\u00a0 To some extent we become stuck.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do I get unstuck then?\u201d<\/p>\n
If we can cultivate curiosity about ourselves we can solve many of our struggles.\u00a0 One of the key pieces of this though is that we need to rid ourselves of the judgment that comes along with looking at what we do and why.\u00a0 Has there ever been a time when criticizing yourself has helped you get past a struggle or to solve a problem?<\/p>\n
Instead, try to step back and examine what is causing your difficulties.\u00a0 Sometimes this benefits from a compare and contrast \u2013 so if it\u2019s a particular chore \u2013 what is different about this chore compared to another chore you accomplish with minimal challenge?\u00a0 The answers you come up with could be a long list, as you want to consider as many different factors as possible: time of day, effort, energy, time consuming, complicated\/simple, boring\/interesting, dreaded\/exciting, rewarding, etc.<\/p>\n
Even if you cannot compare it to something else, you can examine what that thing brings up for you.\u00a0 What is it about that thing that has you resisting it? When you start to get the clues for where your struggles are, you can then start making changes to how you approach that thing.<\/p>\n
In trying to make this applicable to many situations, this is vague.\u00a0 Therefore, let me give you an example.\u00a0 I was often procrastinating mowing the lawn.\u00a0 One of the major factors was the dread of lugging out of and back into the basement.\u00a0 Another factor was feeling like it was extremely time consuming.\u00a0 The first factor has now been dealt with as we have a garage, but until that happened, there wasn\u2019t much I could do about it.\u00a0 The second factor \u2013 time \u2013 I could discover how much time it actually took up, so I timed it.\u00a0 From lugging it up, mowing the front and back yard, and lugging it back down, it took me 45 minutes.\u00a0 From that point onward I could easily dismiss mowing as an option if I didn\u2019t have that much time and could plan when I would have enough time.\u00a0 I also began to stop procrastinating it as much, yes, I did qualify that, I will sometimes still procrastinate doing it, though it gets less and less as time goes on.<\/p>\n
There are other chores I dislike because they seem dull, and I can take my iPad and play a show on it while I work or vacuum during commercials.\u00a0 Obviously I don\u2019t need to watch it intently, it\u2019s a way to make the chores a little more interesting.\u00a0 The point is that I\u2019ve approached my quirks (my resistances) with curiosity, identified what factors contribute to my resistance to accomplishing them, and then found ways to lessen the resistance.\u00a0 Even when I falter and don\u2019t get it done when or how I would like, I work at giving myself a break.<\/p>\n
Is there another way to look at the chore (or whatever you are struggling with)?\u00a0 Much of our lives deal with perspectives \u2013 the way we decide to look at things.\u00a0 Yes, it is a choice and this means we can change the way we view things.\u00a0 Therefore we can decide to look at that dreaded chore differently.\u00a0 This rarely happens overnight, but if we discover the reasons that matter to us as an individual, we can begin to make the changes.<\/p>\n
For me, making the bed was one of these.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care much if it was made or not and I struggled with wanting it to be near perfect if it were made.\u00a0 This meant I spent time and energy walking back and forth around the bed fixing it.\u00a0 Then I timed myself lying in bed doing a sort \u2018snow angel\u2019, slipping out from under the covers, and doing some minor straightening \u2013 under 2 minutes.\u00a0 Then I started appreciating the made bed when it was time to go to bed at night.\u00a0 I stopped looking at making the bed as a chore; rather it became something to look forward to \u2013 a nicely made bed \u2013at the end of the day.<\/p>\n
What is it about this situation that causes you difficulties?\u00a0 Thinking about the answers for yourself can help lead you to the answers you need to make the necessary changes.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, you might not find THE answer on the first try.\u00a0 Nevertheless it will lead you toward the solutions you need.<\/p>\n
Get curious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Getting curious about yourself can help lead you to answers to solve your own struggles \u2013 especially if you can curb about the \u201cshoulds\u201d and \u201coughts\u201d. Discover your own strengths and use them to modify your approach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[10,8,18,5,9,7,22,15,4],"class_list":["post-896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personaldevelopment","tag-behavior","tag-discipline","tag-goals","tag-household","tag-motivation","tag-procrastination","tag-productivity","tag-resources","tag-routines"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7p82c-es","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=896"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":900,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896\/revisions\/900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jenniferlinnig.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}