But It’s Free…

Can you say no to something you’re offered?

I mean, it’s free.
I don’t have to spend any money.
It’s in decent condition.
I MIGHT use it one day.
Why not?

Simply put, it’s more clutter unless you actually want or need it. If only this actually removed the temptation for taking it anyway! I am not immune to the effects of “free.” My husband laughs at me, especially when it comes to my personal downfall of media – I can rarely say no. Nevertheless, this is a struggle worth fighting and at least minimizing what comes into your home by these nefarious means.

There are certainly people who somehow are not affected by the allure of that offered item at no monetary cost to them. As with virtually everything, personality varies and there are any number of reasons why people are simply not tempted just as for why some of us struggle so much. One person I know who adamantly refuses those free offerings is proud, wants to save up and buy the exact item wanted and not settle for less. Both my parents have never seemed to struggle with temptation, both appreciate a sparse environment, and dislike too much stuff around them – though where that characteristic comes from, I have no idea.

Therefore, this is for those of us who drool over the idea of getting something free. A good friend of mine struggles with this, and I see those items I’ve offered her sitting around her home for months (even years sometimes). It makes me sad since I feel like I have inadvertently contributed to clutter in her home. This is the last thing I actually I want to do.

First, we need to recognize that this is our tendency. Simply becoming aware of how thoughtlessly we accept those offered items could help us curb bringing in more stuff. If it has been so automatic, we may not even realize the extent of how much is coming in by this means.

Second, we need to think about any items coming in with the same criteria as if we were spending our hard earned money. I discuss some questions to ask (and answer) for yourself before you buy something in “True Purchasing Power.” To quickly recap the major points: do you know whether it fits – from clothes to furniture, do you know where you will put it (including removing something else to make room for it), and finally do you need it.

Just because something is free does not mean we don’t need to consider those things with the same standards as if we were spending money. If you could actually use that free thing, know it fits, and where you will put it – there is no reason you need to turn it down.

There are other steps we can take to curb our taking what is offered and you know yourself better than anyone else does. Find steps that fit your style and start applying them. Discover how freeing it can be to turn down those items you don’t actually need or want, since in the process, your home will stay uncluttered and you will be able to find what you want when you want it – the real goal.

Where to Start with Organizing the Entire Home

“If I want to get the whole house organized, where do I start?” I have the answer though most people don’t like what I tell them. Ideally, you want to begin in the area where you store most of your boxed up things – the basement or attic, sometimes the garage. Here in the Midwest, the basement is usually the place where boxes and holiday stuff goes. In one client’s space, it was a section of the finished basement, the laundry area. If you have an attic and this is where you put things for storage, then this is where you begin. It is the least exciting area to begin this transformation of your home, but will make your life easier in the end.

“But why the basement?”

First, it is likely that what lives in the basement are things that can be removed from your home entirely. We put things in the basement, forget what we’ve put there, and it becomes a bizarre discovery of items. This varies, and you probably have plenty of things you will want to keep. Those holiday decorations are worth keeping. The point is that the basement is where you store the things you want to keep, but do not want to have out and your opinion of what to keep changes dramatically over time. It has probably been so long since you dove into a number of boxes, you will be happy to get rid of many things.

Second, you need to make room for all the things you want to save from all the other rooms in the house. Where are they going to go if you have no room to put them in your main storage area? If you clear out everything from the basement at the beginning, you know what’s left are things you want. You also know how much space you have left for the things from the rest of the house.

Third, by starting with the storage area, you will reduce the amount of repetitive organizing you’ll need to do. If you just start putting containers in the basement before getting it organized, when it is time to work there, you will probably end up going through some of those bins again. It is easy to forget what is in each bin. It feels more tedious and likely to add to feeling overwhelmed and therefore becomes that much easier to procrastinate. If you added stuff to the area before clearing it out, it is also harder to work in there.

Organizing is often a repetitive process. As you go through things, you put like items together. It is virtually impossible to organize the like items until you have all those items in front of you. It is hard to predict how much room or what size container you need before you see everything together.

As you are going through things in the basement, you can start containers for those – “I know I have more of this type of …” If you have the space to leave those bins open and accessible, all the better. Just like the items that you use regularly, it is easiest if you keep like items together, even in storage. If you have this option, as you move along organizing each room, you can bring the keep items for storage down and put them away immediately.

Just imagine filling a container of treasures from another room. You carry the container into the basement and there is a space for it right now. You get to put it away, safely and not think about again until you are ready for it. It is a completed task now.

Although starting the process of organizing with the basement often sounds like the least exciting (and sometimes the most daunting), it will give you fabulous rewards. I have known many people who cannot believe the relief and ease of having that area ready, even lightening the process for them of dealing with the rest of the rooms. All of this is not to say that you can’t work on other spaces first, and I have done this plenty of times, just that this is the ideal place to begin.

On some level, I think of the idea of starting with the most tedious, hardest part first and then everything else feels easy. Having this done helps motivate you. As usual, I recommend setting aside small chunks of time to dig into the basement, not trying to make yourself tackle it in one weekend. Slow and steady wins the race, just direct your focus and energy in one area – make it the basement. You won’t regret it!

Overwhelmed by E-Mail No More

E-mail is a fabulous, wonderful thing that speeds the process of communication as well as a way to get tons of information. There are listservs and newsletters everywhere, including this one! They easily accumulate in our mailboxes. This does not even include the e-mail from co-workers and friends. Unlike a physical mailbox, they can keep piling up without demanding that we discard them. Often we tell ourselves that we’ll get to them eventually. Yet there are things we can do to control the demands of our e-mail.

First, you need to deal with your e-mail – the pattern you establish from here on out. When you read your e-mail, you need to choose an action. Do you need to respond? Do you need to delegate it? Do you need to take some action before anything more? Can you delete it? Do you need to save it? Some of these will be addressed as you read on, but you need to figure out when you are reading each e-mail what action you need to take. Then take the action!

Second, de-clutter. What do you have that you don’t need? Delete it. If you are subscribing to things that you are regularly not reading, unsubscribe. From many years ago, I subscribed to some library related listservs, and I didn’t unsubscribe for a long time. I did manage to delete them as they came in, but the e-mail notification distracted me… oooh, new mail. It was information that was coming in that had lost relevance for me. Do you have any of that? You can always sign up later if it becomes important.

What if you have e-mails that are relevant though not urgent? I adore the NAPO listserv- the questions and answers, and the ideas it generates. It is a fabulous resource. The number of e-mails coming in during a given day varies, but trends toward around 50 a day. Hopefully, you can understand that I might fall behind in my keeping up with them! I am reluctant to just delete them. This is where you need to realistically evaluate your ability and commitment to make time to look through any build-up of e-mails. There comes a time when your time is more valuably spent elsewhere. In my case, those NAPO e-mails are archived on their website, so I can always find them later.

Remember the goal is to de-clutter, to reduce the number of things distracting and demanding time that you don’t have. A general rule for all organizing is to ask yourself when you don’t need something currently, if you can get the same information easily if you discard it now. If you can, then you can get rid of it. As a society we keep way to much stuff and that electronic stuff seems easier to hold onto, but this is no reason to not get strict with yourself and delete it.

Third, make folders to collect specific information. Most e-mail programs offer this feature; you can choose the title and even tell it which items to put in the folder. You can do this manually as well. Setting up folders allows you to focus on your priorities. If you filter all the less important things into folders, the e-mail that remains in your inbox is likely to be things that need your attention.

Consider whether you could use a folder for things that require follow-up. You want to keep the e-mail as a reminder that you’ll need to check with someone else down the road, but does not need action for a while. If you have folder dedicated to this, you check that folder periodically and see at a glance what is approaching.

Your imagination is your limit as far as how many and what folders you create. They need to make sense to you and help you reduce clutter and distractions. I have several folders that sort automatically. I also make sure that I move the non-sorted items that come in, into folders after I have taken some action, but might require more action down the road. I like to keep the general inbox for items requiring my action and short enough that I can see everything without scrolling. For me, if it requires scrolling, I start to feel overwhelmed and I know I need to make time to deal with it.

We cannot live or work without e-mail. It is the way the world is, so we need to take control of it. Like so much in life, we need to make time to work on our e-mails, whether that is deleting, sorting, or archiving. It is worthwhile to set aside time in our schedules for doing just that. With some determination and planning, we can save money and create systems that work, without spending money on a program that claims to solve our electronic clutter. As with so much, finding what works for you is the ultimate goal, so what can you do to solve your e-mail clutter?

Everyone Should Read … Crucial Conversations

In case you haven’t noticed, I do not make such absolute statements often. In fact, I dislike and disagree with most statements that leave little room for flexibility. Yet, I keep finding myself thinking that this book, Crucial Conversation: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, & Al Switzler, is a book that everyone should read. Period.

The first time that I was aware of thinking that everyone should read this book was at one of my ToastMaster’s meetings. I approached one of the members after the meeting. I was not angry or frustrated, I felt compassion for the situation I knew that person was in, and that I needed to speak up about some of my own limits. They ended up walking away from me after looking down dejectedly and saying “yeah.” I felt bad; it did not go the way I had intended. In no way did I want that person to feel bad, what I did want was for certain things to not happen again.

This is one of the reasons I am sure that the book stresses that it should be referred to regularly, using it as a workbook. Many pieces play into having a successful crucial conversation. Then you have to factor in the other person and their state of mind. I had managed to use some of the tools they talk about, but definitely needed to pay more attention to some others.

One of the things that I appreciated about the book was that it did not feel like they were blaming anyone. What mattered was that it was a situation between two people, and both people needed to be in a place to have the conversation. It does offer some tools to help you set the stage so that the other person can feel comfortable having the conversation. In truth, we know that we can only change ourselves, so the focus is on providing skills to us, the reader.

Throughout the book, there are stories, from the business setting to the home. These show how to use the skills they are talking about and illustrate their points well. Those examples helped me stay interested. Although it is a “business” book, it was an engaging read. Anybody can apply these skills in whatever situation.

A lot of us probably know many of these points, yet it is put together in a cohesive way that can increase the success of the conversations we have. Even if we do know all the information, it does not mean that we could not use some refreshers on those points. Having a successful crucial conversation is a complicated process. I would wager that not many of us do it as often as we would like!

Given my interaction at ToastMaster’s I had an immediate framework for what I had failed to do. The timing/place was wrong, since I approached at the end of the meeting while there were still a number of people milling around, it would not be as private. I also think that I did not make it “safe” enough, I was not as clear as I could have been that I sympathized with the reasoning behind their actions. Of course, I was also not finished with the book; I was apparently eager to try the things I was learning.

I appreciate the Crucial Skills newsletter from VitalSmarts and have been enjoying seeing the authors answering questions about different situations. It keeps many of the various skills in the forefront of my mind. I am also excited to read the next book, Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior.

If we could all master the skills presented in this book, the world would be even more amazing place with much less conflict. We would probably all be much happier too since we could comfortably speak up about the things bothering us and be heard. It all starts small; will you pick this book up?

Tackling One Room

No matter what your environment is like, choosing the room that you most want to get organized is where to start. What room do you just yearn to have some peace and organization in? This is your chosen room.

The simplest way to start is to walk into the chosen room, containers nearby, and look around. Find all the things that belong in another room. Put those items into the appropriate container. This is a great time to evaluate whether the item is something worth keeping. As you pick up something, look at it and think about it. Make a decision if you can.

It can be a good idea to have a pending area as well, a place for items that you cannot decide on at that moment. Of course, if you create a pending pile, you will need to make time to go through it at a later point.

This is also the time to pick up any trash, those loose pieces of paper that wander about or any trash that just was set aside. The idea is that you find all the things that do not belong in that room and remove them.

There are at least two ways to approach this. One way is to walk around the room focusing on one type of item, so all the things that belong in one other room are gathered up at one time. Then you do that for the next type of item, like gathering all the paper and trash.

I prefer the approach of focusing on one area within that room. You start with the coffee table for instance. It does not matter what is on it, you put all the items into their appropriate container, staying focused on the coffee table until that area is completed. Only then do you move on to another area within that room.

This is a great way to approach any room: from the storage areas like your basement or attic to any of the actual living spaces you have. It works for any degree or lack – of clutter. I admit that piles will accumulate in our living room, by the side of the couch to the coffee table. This is the way that I handle getting the room organized again. So, choose your room and dig in today.

What room would you choose to work on first?

Preparing to Purge

As FlyLady says, “You cannot organize clutter.”  I am sure many people wish this were not true.  The very idea of having to go through stuff and make decisions about what to keep and what to let go causes many people to shudder.  It can be so tedious and often emotional.  Sorting and organizing can be a time consuming process.  As organizers, we sometimes forget that this process can be foreign and unfamiliar to others.  Therefore, I am breaking the process down and sharing the critical steps to embarking on the task of sorting and purging.

The first thing you need to consider when beginning, this is to include in your time frame, any time you need to get it completely out of your possession.  If you want to try to sell it on e-Bay, this takes time, so you need to make sure that you make the time to work on the process of it.  Only you can judge whether you can be disciplined to take photos and create the listing.  Until it is in the mail, you are not done.  This applies just as much to donating it, so until it is out of your house, garage, and trunk, you are not finished.  It is important to schedule the time for these things as you tackle purging your belongings.

Unless you have boundless energy and never get overwhelmed, start small.  You do not need to accomplish everything in one day.  Set aside a small amount of time for working on this, even using a timer so that you have a clear stopping point.  It is so easy to get overwhelmed.  This can happen to anyone, whether there is a lot of stuff around or even if there is minimal clutter.  Overwhelm happens and it is something to avoid if you can.  When we get overwhelmed, we often dread working on that thing again.  “Ugh, the last time I started doing that….” FlyLady also comments that things did not get that way overnight, and therefore cannot get fixed overnight.  If you start and stay small, you can help yourself stay motivated and productive.

It is important to decide on ONE area in which to focus.  After you have chosen the area, have some containers to gather things in, you want to remain in that room until you are done working.  If you want to donate items, you’ll need a container for those things.  A trash bag is also a useful thing as you are working and cannot get distracted by going into another room.  You might want a container for the things that belong in other rooms, as the goal is to wait to return those items to their appropriate room until you have completed working in that space.  I often will have two containers for misplaced things, one for the upstairs rooms and one for the downstairs rooms.  If you have even more stuff, you can have a container for each room.

In thinking about and planning to sort and purge your belongings, ideally you want to make time to regularly review and purge things again.  By setting up some time to do this periodically, you can limit the burden and tedium for the future.  You can adopt the approach of each time you bring something into the house, something else must leave.  I find this somewhat extreme, though it certainly can be helpful.  Find a time that makes sense to you to review things.  If you rotate seasonal clothing, this is a great time to go through the past season’s clothes and part with what you did not wear.  The key is to make time to review things.

These are the keys to getting you ready to sort and purge in the process of becoming more organized.  It is important to consider these points before digging in and doing anything.  Here is where you lay the groundwork that will help you succeed in the often tedious process of getting organized.  You might notice that there is very little action at this level, yet without considering these points, it is easy to get distracted or overwhelmed.  Both of these things can get in the way of making the progress you are aiming for, so it is helpful to factor these things into your plans.

Passing on the Skills to Your Children

A mini-you: your children are supposed to be that, right? Or at least hopefully the best parts of you. Not necessarily. At least not immediately. Looking back at some of the good qualities of your own parents though, you probably have some of those in yourself. Until that someday for your kids, it is easy to get frustrated that their household duties are not done with more enthusiasm or with the attention to details that you would like. Children may act like they do not hear much of what you say, but it sinks in and stays there.

A mom posted a comment on my first blog on chores: “I think I’ve got this mastered for myself, but how can I teach my 7-yr old? No matter how many times I try to explain that if we “do as we go” it won’t be so overwhelming, he just doesn’t seem to catch on!! :(” My mom teased me about this, commenting that I was not much different as a kid myself, yet look at me now. She also shared a memory of her own life: there was a chair in her room which would collect piles of clothes over the week and each week her mom had her clean it off. She cannot imagine doing this now and cannot remember quite when or how it changed. The habits and behaviors that we had as children and adolescents do not always last. Life seems to happen along the way and we change. It is common for kids to explore and test limits, even completely rejecting the way a parent wants it done. I don’t remember caring whether my room was clean or tidy. It started to matter to me much later in life.

I hear how kids need limits, and how they secretly want and need rules. This is just one reason that it is a good idea to set up those expectations. My mom knew that once a week she was expected to pick up her room and clear off the chair. These house rules also help teach what it takes to maintain a welcoming house as well as return your home to that state you want it in. The key in setting these guidelines for your children is to accentuate the positive, think of Baloo talking to Mowgli in the Disney version of The Jungle Book, compliment the efforts you see. The last thing you want is for the task to become so dreaded that they avoid it.

Demonstrating skills consistently is an effective way of passing on the know-how to your children. This can also apply to showing them how to not do something. If you fall behind on doing your dishes, be real, let them see how if affects you. Do you get more frazzled? Are you more likely to drop something? Or miss some food particles and therefore create more work for yourself? If you are comfortable and the kids are old enough, talk to them about it and share the consequences. When you have not kept up with doing laundry, does someone need to where dirty clothes for a day? How much time do you lose catching up on the one thing while other things have to put on hold? Does it negatively affect your energy level? Do you get more snappy and short-tempered? Some of these things may be obvious anyway, and the point is that by doing, just doing, you are teaching your kids.

There are so many different approaches to organizing and the ways for it to be effective. It all depends on the individual. This includes kids and adolescents. If you are determined to try to find a way that they will be more orderly, think about different ways and what will work for their temperament. Maybe having some neat containers will inspire them to put everything away. This is not likely a long term solution as nifty new things lose there appeal after a while. There are pros and cons to the different approaches and so finding a way that accentuates the strengths already present means it is that much more likely to be successful. We are frequently changing and adapting, so what works for any of us at one moment may not work down the road, so knowing the other options just benefits us in the long run.

The most important thing though is simply sharing and passing along the knowledge. Even if the behavior does not change right now, the knowledge is there for them, and when they are ready for it they have it on hand. This is not unlike passing along the skills of cooking. Most people I know after they moved away from home, resorted to eating ramen and any boxes or cans of food. Yet down the road, when they became motivated, they started cooking meals. Even if they are not used, skills and knowledge remain with us.

I hope that you are not frustrated or sad that your child is not obviously picking up the skills you are trying to impart. Just remember that they are still absorbing the information and will have it available when they are ready for it. I would wager there are examples from your own life where you had habits that would make you cringe now, yet you changed and created habits that you appreciate. Providing the knowledge is what matters most. In the meantime, the rules of your home set the limits and give the opportunity to practice the skills. There is hope!

Work to Be In the Moment – Every Moment

When I was discussing spring-cleaning, I talked about staying focused on where you were working. This topic deserves its own discussion. How often have any of us started doing something and gotten distracted by something else? I cannot even count how many times in my life I have walked into a room with an intention, and when I get there I cannot recall what I was going to do. This is going to happen sometimes. Minimizing the frequency is worth striving for and can help keep us focused. If we are more focused, our productivity will only increase. Our time is spent more wisely and we might find more time to do the things that really matter to us, for instance, spending time with loved ones. With all the demands on our time and energy the thought of working on something else might be daunting, yet striving to be more mindful of ourselves will only benefit all other areas of our lives.

This is especially difficult for any of us that feel overwhelmed, hyper-aware of all the other things waiting for our attention and energy. Our minds almost work against us at these moments. That is why it takes work. We have to strive to be aware of where our minds are wandering. Then once we see that while we’re washing the pile of dishes that we’re worrying about the grocery shopping that needs to be done, we have to catch ourselves and stop. Decide that you will focus on washing the dishes and slow down. Chances are that your mind will return to thinking of other things before too long. The work continues, trying to catch yourself again and again to return to the present moment.

When you are able to be largely in the moment, the effects are noticeable. The tasks will be completed without sloppiness or errors. That alone decreases additional time and energy to correct them later. If we do it right the first time, we are actually done. It is important to guard against the temptation for perfection though. There is a balance between good enough and perfect. The last thing any of us want is to create more work for ourselves. If you keep finding particles of food on your dishes, this just adds to your workload. Look for a way to prevent this, whether you need to rinse your dishes before loading the dishwasher or slowing down as you wash them.

How much can you go, go, go before you are exhausted? It varies wildly between every person. I find that working yourself to that level of exhaustion is largely unnecessary. When we can maintain a certain degree of consistency in being in the moment, that exhaustion can be prevented. When I am doing things and can remain in the moment throughout, those tasks are completed and I do not feel drained, I feel refreshed. I finished the task, appreciating the effort I put in, and ready to move on to the next task.

Many of the things that we do regularly are never actually completely caught up. Dishes get used every day, laundry is always accumulating, the lawn will need mowing again next week (excepting the break winters can provide) and the job is never complete. Or so it can seem. One of the joys of being in the moment while you work on these tasks is that when you finish them, even just for that moment, you can appreciate the effort you put out. It is often easy to feel relieved by completing a big project, it can be more challenging to appreciate the little things that get accomplished. Being in the moment provides an acknowledgment to yourself for a job well done. You were present during the process and realize the value it holds even if you’ll have to do it again tomorrow, next week, or whenever.

When you can stay in your moments fairly consistently you will find time and energy that you never knew existed. Your work will be completed well the first time so you will not need to spend time rectifying any mistakes. This alone adds to the amount of energy you have for other things. Also, keeping your thoughts on your present moment curbs unnecessary energy being spent worrying or planning future events. Racing thoughts are surprisingly draining.

Striving to be in the moment applies to all aspects of life; from work to home, and can only benefit you in all these areas. If any of you struggle with more work than is necessary, I plead with you to strive to pause your mind and focus on the moment you are in right now. My greatest wish is that you do not create more work for yourself. Life improves exponentially when you can slow down. This is easier said than done and even I continue to catch myself and work on these skills.

Somehow, Someway Not Making the Progress You Planned?

Being disorganized, having clutter doesn’t mean that you don’t have any type of organizational system. Quite the contrary, for some. I should know. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you probably have noticed that I enjoy systems, patterns, and knowing how to handle things. I like things to have a place where things belong and a methodology in getting them to that place. It helps make sure that I know where things are and can find them easily. This is what true organization is all about.

I may not always be as prompt as I plan on following through on the methodology. The perfect example for me is the filing, I have a bin that collect the papers to be filed and have tried various time frames for when I will move them from the bin into the filing cabinet. They often live in the bin longer than I intend. The acceptable aspect of this is that if I have procrastinated filing, at least I know where to look and know it will be in the bin. This is why the bin works for me.

The problem arises when no part of the system is working. If you decide to use a bin to collect something and yet the bin is empty or worse yet there are other things suddenly in the bin, the system is not working. This can happen from the moment you set up a new system, or it can happen down the road, even after using the system for a while successfully. Trying to establish new routines and systems for dealing with things often carries the hazard of backsliding and therefore the tendency to berate ourselves for the failure to be perfect.

Slipping up or backsliding happens to everyone. Yes, I mean everyone. There are times that we make progress and are thrilled with the changes that are happening. Then at other times, we suddenly look around and see that chaos has returned. We are not using the systems that we created. The Room Re-Vamp I talked about in another post was a large-scale example, where the room had become a dumping ground.

This same thing can happen on a small scale, for example when the mail is piling up and not even where you intended to keep it. Piles anywhere we do not intend, is a sign that systems are not working, that is assuming that you have decided on a system to try.

This is one of the frustrations (and in some ways, joys) of organizing. There is no one way to do something; there are a plethora of approaches to the same thing. It allows for the ultimate in personalization of systems. It also requires a perseverance and determination to create new habits. Even the best system, tailored to your personality and habits, does not function independently of you.

As an organizer, I come in, ask questions, and attempt to find a system of approaching problem areas that will work for that person. If something is working, even partially, do not change what works. When something is not working though, it means things to need to change. The larger the struggle, the smaller the steps I try to find for you to start taking. Sometimes even those small steps might be challenging or completely avoided. This is just another part of the struggle of making changes.

The worst aspect to backsliding is the guilt and shame that often accompanies it. Whether you are working with a professional organizer or not, this happens to everyone. We are all human; yet somehow do not give ourselves some slack to stumble, on our way to making changes. I wish I had a magic wand, where I could just wave it around and erase all the guilt and shame people feel for their simply being human.

Change is challenging, plain and simple, and regardless of what change we are attempting. We need to be ready and prepared to tackle all the emotions that arise from attempting change. This is when our determination and perseverance is critical, and with it can eventually develop those habits we want. Sometimes it is just a matter of time: time to prepare ourselves for changing and to adjust how we approach things. No matter the timing or success of our attempts, guilt and shame deserve no place with us.

True Purchasing Power

I walked into a client’s home a while back and the first thing out of their mouth was, “So tell me what I need to buy.” Nope, not the way I work. “There is no way to know what might be needed until we’ve gone through things, until we can see what we’re really dealing with, and even then there might be items already here that can fulfill the needs we find.” Ironically, by the time we finished working together, I had recommended one purchase, at which point, they decided to just throw away the items.

There are so many organizational products available with all these variations. We see a neat item on sale that seems to meet our needs, and we take three of them home. It is tempting to think that buying some organizational products will solve the mess around us. Unfortunately, these items do not fill themselves, removing the disorganization for us and often just contribute to the situation.

I mostly use three criteria to judge when to make purchases, and they can apply to virtually everything you might find yourself spending money on. It stays at the store until I know it will fit, where I will put it, and I actually need it. I heard a saying once that has stuck with me, “Let the store – store it for you.” Cute yes, but true.

  • Starting with finding out if it fits. This can apply from furniture to clothes to organizational bins. Furniture is the most obvious, and not many people buy items before knowing if it can fit in the space available. Even furniture comes with a variety of features though and if it fails to fit the things we need or want it for, then it does not actually fit. Clothes are often frustrating to take the time to try on in the store, so we guess and take them home, thinking it is easy to keep the receipt and return them later if they do not fit. This just makes more work for us, easily falling into the “I’ll do it another day” category; meanwhile we have excess stuff around. The nifty bins and boxes many stores sell might fit anywhere, but they too can become clutter around us.
  • Next, do you know where you will put it? It might be pretty or useful, but before you buy it, think about where precisely you are going to put it and how you will use it, if applicable. I have a penchant for decorative boxes, but started considering where I would put it as well as what I would put inside it before getting it. I contented myself with admiring it in the store and then walking away. If you know where it would go, but do not actually have room in that place, are you willing to get rid of something else to make room for the new item? If your pajama drawer is overflowing, are you going to get rid of one or two to make room for a new one? You can ask yourself, “What are you willing to give up in order to make room for the new item?” If you buy something because it is pretty when you don’t have a place to put it, it just ends to adding clutter and defeats the point of getting it.
  • Maybe in some ways the hardest question, do you actually need it? Now I think this is worth asking, though the literal meaning of need is not my intent. I probably do not need another book, yet I also know that I am willing to sacrifice many things to make room for books. I once had a couple of makeshift shelves at the bottom of my closet, and eagerly purged my shoe collection to make space. Nevertheless, thinking in terms of whether it is needed can help filter out some of the temptations of that item. Despite not being much a cook, I find myself drawn to gadgets to make cooking easier, yet they end up being deemed “not needed.”

Other questions can help you determine when to pass up a new item in the store. If you start thinking about the things that tempt you, the ways you catch yourself, and what helps you walk away, you can find questions that fit you. You can then use those to test the importance of getting something right then.

Some other questions that can be helpful:

  • How many do you already have of that type of item? How many black sweaters do you need, even if this other has a different twist? How many rings are you reasonably going to wear over the year? How many bins do you need and will you use?
  • Do you love the item, or is it just good enough? There is no need to clutter our space with things that we do not deeply appreciate and make us happy.It is important to keep in mind that until you have gone through what you already have, you cannot know what exactly you need. Even if you know precisely what you have, deciding to buy something still needs to be approached with care. Some organizers believe in the idea of if you bring one thing into your home, you need to take one thing out. Although I view this as too extreme, the idea can remind us to be cautious in bringing more stuff into our home.

The things that stores offer us are supposed to benefit us, so it is up to us to be mindful of the choices and purchases we make. When we get the items that serve our needs and wants without creating clutter, we rarely have regrets about wasted money or time. We reinforce the idea that the stores and items can benefit us, yet do not, and cannot, dictate what will match our needs. When our money is not lost on indiscriminate items, we have the money to get what we need, when we need it. By approaching all shopping with the mentality that all purchases have to meet our specific needs, we have the truest form of purchasing power.