Tag Archives: Gratitude

Expressing Our Love at Christmas

My absolute most favorite memory of Christmas comes from my childhood with my mom. She would make tons of cookies every year. Looking back, I am amazed at how many different kinds of cookies and bars would emerge from the kitchen during Christmas time. It is especially neat since she admittedly does not relish cooking. Most of the cookies she’d made would be arranged on plates, wrapped in plastic, and given away to various people.

The meaning of Christmas is about expressing our love. We use gifts to express some of that love we feel, yet we need to make sure that we do not lose the true intent. It becomes so easy to get sucked into the retail propaganda that we need to find that perfect gift, we need to spend a certain amount of money, or even give a certain quantity of items.

Remind yourself of your most cherished memories; think about what you would want your children to remember when they get older. As lovely as getting a great gift can be, and I have fun memories of waking up to a glorious 10-speed bike with a giant bow in front of the tree, this is not what I remember most fondly. Nor do the happy memories of gifts given warm me more than the wonderful plethora of cookies.

In talking about expressing our love at Christmas and the connection that has with giving and receiving gifts, there are a couple of things to think about and keep in mind while we finish the shopping and wrapping.

One, we have all faced the temptation to get that special gift for a loved one. One memorable occasion when I was a teenager, I wanted to give my mother a Hummel, since she loved them so much. My eyes were bigger than my appetite with that one – and bigger than my meager savings from my allowance. I had high plans to save up $300 so I could get it for her. Somehow, I never did pull that off, yet in looking back at it now, it was just a symbol. It was this thing to express the depth of my love; only it was just a thing.

Two, as I consider the powerful memories of holidays past, one year I received this incredible gift. The cost of it had to be negligible since it was paper and plastic binders, yet it speaks to the power of thoughtfulness of the giver. The gift was of my poems; typed up, titled, with a table of contents and a copyright symbol, presented to me as books. Ah, the teenage fantasies of fame, and regardless how time has changed my perspective, it was truly a wonderful gift.

These stories illustrate how the emotion is the bottom line. I wanted that “perfect” gift because I thought it could communicate how I felt better than I could; yet, the thoughtful gifts are most profound. The heartfelt expression of love has the most meaning, and no amount of money or quantity gathered under the tree can compare to a gift from the heart.

Thinking about the things that speak to you most deeply from your past, those Christmas memories that you would not trade for any gift, can inspire you on how to spend this Christmas and all the ones to come. You’ll realize what you want to create for your family and practice experiencing Christmas for what it is meant to be. When you do, you focus less on the actual items, can stick to your budget, and are less likely to get caught up in the purchases. Like Thanksgiving, it is about the experiences, not in trying to create a perfect day.

What are you going to do to create wonderful memories this year?

The Perfect Holiday… That Wasn’t Perfect

Thanksgiving is the holiday most overwhelmed with volunteers – and it is a time when we think about what we are thankful for and hopefully share that with those we care about. Along with thinking about the things we are thankful for, it is a time that many people try to find ways of giving back. This is the time of year when we think about all the people who are less fortunate than we are, as well as how we might give back some of the blessings we have.

In this season of giving, if you want to find ways to give of yourself, look around your home and find things to give away. You will give yourself freedom from clutter, and help someone else. Let’s take a look at that next week, when I’ll discuss more ways of thinking about your belongings and parting with them. If you’re like me, you won’t have a lot of time to think about the items in your home until after this holiday has passed.

Sometimes we have expectations of ourselves, maybe of others, about how our holidays are supposed to go. People often worry about the details of the meal or the state of the house, imposing the image that everything needs to be perfect, some sort of Donna Reed type holiday. Holidays seem to bring this out even more strongly than at other times. Regardless of what you have planned, make a point to relish the time with your friends and family and the experiences the holidays will bring. After it is all over, that’s what you are going to remember, not whether the turkey was a little dry, or if your house wasn’t perfect.

If we go back to the intent of Thanksgiving, it is all about getting together with those you care about and being thankful for the things you do have. You have a home, food, and loved ones to be grateful for. Those dust bunnies, the chores you didn’t get a chance to do, really are insignificant compared to all this.

Of course, it’s easier said than done to step outside yourself enough to catch yourself from worrying about minor details. Try reversing the situation. When I’m a guest and the hostess can’t stop worrying about getting everything right, I feel sad that the intent of the holiday is lost. And the thing is, if she hadn’t drawn the guests’ attention to the minor details, no one would have even noticed them. Reversing the situation lets you relate to this, and it is a safe wager that your guests are simply grateful to be included and are not aiming to be critical of the details.

With it being less than a day before Turkey Day, take a deep breath and relax. Whether you are responsible for many details, just bringing something, or simply showing up, this is a day to realize all that you have to be thankful for. Challenge yourself to enjoy this day and appreciate all that you do have.