But It’s Free…

Can you say no to something you’re offered?

I mean, it’s free.
I don’t have to spend any money.
It’s in decent condition.
I MIGHT use it one day.
Why not?

Simply put, it’s more clutter unless you actually want or need it. If only this actually removed the temptation for taking it anyway! I am not immune to the effects of “free.” My husband laughs at me, especially when it comes to my personal downfall of media – I can rarely say no. Nevertheless, this is a struggle worth fighting and at least minimizing what comes into your home by these nefarious means.

There are certainly people who somehow are not affected by the allure of that offered item at no monetary cost to them. As with virtually everything, personality varies and there are any number of reasons why people are simply not tempted just as for why some of us struggle so much. One person I know who adamantly refuses those free offerings is proud, wants to save up and buy the exact item wanted and not settle for less. Both my parents have never seemed to struggle with temptation, both appreciate a sparse environment, and dislike too much stuff around them – though where that characteristic comes from, I have no idea.

Therefore, this is for those of us who drool over the idea of getting something free. A good friend of mine struggles with this, and I see those items I’ve offered her sitting around her home for months (even years sometimes). It makes me sad since I feel like I have inadvertently contributed to clutter in her home. This is the last thing I actually I want to do.

First, we need to recognize that this is our tendency. Simply becoming aware of how thoughtlessly we accept those offered items could help us curb bringing in more stuff. If it has been so automatic, we may not even realize the extent of how much is coming in by this means.

Second, we need to think about any items coming in with the same criteria as if we were spending our hard earned money. I discuss some questions to ask (and answer) for yourself before you buy something in “True Purchasing Power.” To quickly recap the major points: do you know whether it fits – from clothes to furniture, do you know where you will put it (including removing something else to make room for it), and finally do you need it.

Just because something is free does not mean we don’t need to consider those things with the same standards as if we were spending money. If you could actually use that free thing, know it fits, and where you will put it – there is no reason you need to turn it down.

There are other steps we can take to curb our taking what is offered and you know yourself better than anyone else does. Find steps that fit your style and start applying them. Discover how freeing it can be to turn down those items you don’t actually need or want, since in the process, your home will stay uncluttered and you will be able to find what you want when you want it – the real goal.

Diving Into a Small Organizing Project

Often when we “tackle” an organizing project, we dive in only half-heartedly. I don’t believe this is intentional, just a sign of other struggles: afraid of being overwhelmed, unsure of how long it will take, of making it complicated, etc. It can be daunting to truly dig into a space completely, yet this is exactly what we need to do, just in small increments.

It’s simple to go look at a shelf or a drawer and shuffle things around, trying to pull out the things that don’t belong there, whether they are trash or simple in the wrong area. This can even be a way to begin. One of the problems that occur when we do it this way is that we easily get frustrated or unmotivated to continue. Things are already in a jumble, shuffling things around leaves little room for progress. It provides no sense of accomplishment or of having made much of a difference.

On the other hand, if you take everything out of the space – the drawer or shelf (remember, start and stay small) – you can begin to group like items together. You will see right away if you have several items that are unnecessary duplicates. It might be time to find a container to keep some of those like items all together, and you will know what size you’ll need since they will be together.

Now that you have pulled everything out of the space, you can start grouping them with similar items. Deal first with the items you know you want to keep and figure out where you want them. Since the space is already empty, you can start putting them away. You will also see whether you still have too much for the space. You’ll need to decide then whether you can get rid of more or find another location to keep them. A container can be useful to keeping like items together within the space as well.

Frequently we come across items that we’re not sure where they need to go, they do not have a good home. These things can set us back since there does not seem to be a specific place they belong. The first step in dealing with those things will probably not feel the best, but to gather those items together in a container and put them to the side for the moment. Don’t concern yourself with right now with these things.

Those odds and ends can often be found throughout the house. If you have the time and availability to do it, I recommend letting them sit in a container for a while. You have the container, so if you have a need to get something from it, you know where it is. Putting them somewhere “just because there is nowhere better” does not serve you in the long run either. As you deal with other spaces, you might come across similar type items. Sometimes that is when you have a sudden idea of where to logically keep those items.

It takes time and energy to pull everything out, yet it will increase your productivity and effectiveness in whatever organizing project you dive into – as long as you remember to start with small projects. A standard drawer or shelf should take you typically less than 30 minutes for the entire process: from pulling everything out, sorting and purging, and putting the things back in. Maximize your energy by doing it right the first time, avoid shuffling things around, and find the wonderful success of accomplishing your organizing project on the first try.

Overwhelmed by E-Mail No More

E-mail is a fabulous, wonderful thing that speeds the process of communication as well as a way to get tons of information. There are listservs and newsletters everywhere, including this one! They easily accumulate in our mailboxes. This does not even include the e-mail from co-workers and friends. Unlike a physical mailbox, they can keep piling up without demanding that we discard them. Often we tell ourselves that we’ll get to them eventually. Yet there are things we can do to control the demands of our e-mail.

First, you need to deal with your e-mail – the pattern you establish from here on out. When you read your e-mail, you need to choose an action. Do you need to respond? Do you need to delegate it? Do you need to take some action before anything more? Can you delete it? Do you need to save it? Some of these will be addressed as you read on, but you need to figure out when you are reading each e-mail what action you need to take. Then take the action!

Second, de-clutter. What do you have that you don’t need? Delete it. If you are subscribing to things that you are regularly not reading, unsubscribe. From many years ago, I subscribed to some library related listservs, and I didn’t unsubscribe for a long time. I did manage to delete them as they came in, but the e-mail notification distracted me… oooh, new mail. It was information that was coming in that had lost relevance for me. Do you have any of that? You can always sign up later if it becomes important.

What if you have e-mails that are relevant though not urgent? I adore the NAPO listserv- the questions and answers, and the ideas it generates. It is a fabulous resource. The number of e-mails coming in during a given day varies, but trends toward around 50 a day. Hopefully, you can understand that I might fall behind in my keeping up with them! I am reluctant to just delete them. This is where you need to realistically evaluate your ability and commitment to make time to look through any build-up of e-mails. There comes a time when your time is more valuably spent elsewhere. In my case, those NAPO e-mails are archived on their website, so I can always find them later.

Remember the goal is to de-clutter, to reduce the number of things distracting and demanding time that you don’t have. A general rule for all organizing is to ask yourself when you don’t need something currently, if you can get the same information easily if you discard it now. If you can, then you can get rid of it. As a society we keep way to much stuff and that electronic stuff seems easier to hold onto, but this is no reason to not get strict with yourself and delete it.

Third, make folders to collect specific information. Most e-mail programs offer this feature; you can choose the title and even tell it which items to put in the folder. You can do this manually as well. Setting up folders allows you to focus on your priorities. If you filter all the less important things into folders, the e-mail that remains in your inbox is likely to be things that need your attention.

Consider whether you could use a folder for things that require follow-up. You want to keep the e-mail as a reminder that you’ll need to check with someone else down the road, but does not need action for a while. If you have folder dedicated to this, you check that folder periodically and see at a glance what is approaching.

Your imagination is your limit as far as how many and what folders you create. They need to make sense to you and help you reduce clutter and distractions. I have several folders that sort automatically. I also make sure that I move the non-sorted items that come in, into folders after I have taken some action, but might require more action down the road. I like to keep the general inbox for items requiring my action and short enough that I can see everything without scrolling. For me, if it requires scrolling, I start to feel overwhelmed and I know I need to make time to deal with it.

We cannot live or work without e-mail. It is the way the world is, so we need to take control of it. Like so much in life, we need to make time to work on our e-mails, whether that is deleting, sorting, or archiving. It is worthwhile to set aside time in our schedules for doing just that. With some determination and planning, we can save money and create systems that work, without spending money on a program that claims to solve our electronic clutter. As with so much, finding what works for you is the ultimate goal, so what can you do to solve your e-mail clutter?

Help, My Partner is a Slob

Does the title sound familiar? Nevertheless, finding the balance between different people’s various styles of organizing can be challenging, especially when you are living with them. Living with anyone can be difficult; we all have quirks and ways that we like things. If you’ve decided to share your life with someone it requires compromise and sometimes just plain tolerance. So then what do you do when your partner is not as particular about things as you are?

First, where are your intolerables – those things that have to be a certain way? Where can you shift enough to accept things? Then ask the same questions for your partner. A weird example for me: I feel strongly about the toilet paper being put on the roll in a certain direction. My husband could care less. No problem, I change the rolls so they go on the way I want.

At a presentation I was giving, a woman asked at the end how she could organize so that her husband would not interfere with her systems. She explained that she needs the visual reminders of things. I suggested that they make “safe” areas in their home, a couple of places that were hers alone. That way when she set out the stuff by the back door to remind herself of errands, her husband knew to leave it alone and then the same thing for her vertical filing rack. Making some safe zones means that things are always where you left them. It also might mean that you’ll need to retrieve something for the other person, but it can be maintained in a way that works for you.

There is nothing wrong with creating certain spaces that are off limits to the other person, not that there is anything sinister going on. We are so individual in the way we deal with things, embrace that, and find ways to make it work. Hopefully it is easy to ask for areas that are purely yours and have that respected. Additionally, you keep control of that area, and if it gets disorganized, you can figure out why and make modifications.

I heard from a woman who said she needed help and her partner was not willing, so she wanted to hire someone. There did not seem to be any animosity there, just limits. On the other hand, he did not mind her hiring someone to come in to help her.

Depending on the situation, we might want or need the other person’s involvement. This is where I return to the power of a timer. If you want someone’s help, find a time limit that is mutually acceptable, then set the timer. There is no way that you will lose track of time. You gain credibility too that you want exactly what you are asking for. The stereotype of the nagging wife can be eliminated and the husband can be helpful. I warn you though that it might feel a little silly setting the timer, but don’t let that stop you.

We cannot change anyone else. We can only change ourselves. Can you accept that the dirty laundry never makes it into the basket? Or that you find random glasses around the house and not in the kitchen sink? Are they willing to meet you part way? Sometimes it can be a simple matter of their systems are not working anymore, so they need to find other ways to approaching things. Systems break down, we outgrow them, it happens to all of us. Finding systems that compliment each other so that you can maximize your own productivity is what matters. Look for ways to balance your different approaches. If you cannot figure it out, there are always professional who can help.

Creating a Digital Filing Cabinet with a Scanner

From the moment my computer connected to the Internet almost 20 years ago, I started saving most of the e-mails that I received. I organized and archived the information. I began daydreaming about converting much of the paperwork around me to digital. I didn’t even own a scanner at that point, so it would have required extensive typing. Then several years ago, when I joined NAPO, I started seeing discussions of scanners and digital filing systems, specifically The Neat Company and Fujitsu ScanSnap. Beyond the actual monetary price of these systems, there are other costs to consider.

Beginning with the upfront, actual cost – the desktop versions range start at $400- and the mobile versions start at $200- so it is an investment not only of your money but your time. They can be helpful for businesses in organizing paperwork and working toward the goal of going paperless.

I adore the idea of these for myself. Then I was talking with my husband about them and how much we could use them. How much more organized we could become and get all digitized to boot! He had envisioned how helpful they could be for having access to reports easily without needing to physically carry around a huge folder. The files that they create are searchable (the extent varies between products) and readable by PDF readers.

I saw myself obsessing about getting all the information into the system. I could then spend hours, or more likely days, organizing it. I could keyword the various files and start shredding the growing pile of papers no longer needed. We could eliminate so much paperwork, making it all digital and I wouldn’t even have to type things out. It takes time to set everything up and then the time to “get caught up” with all the things we want to scan.

What is my time worth? Would it be worth your time? Any time you invest in a new organizational system, it takes time and energy to put it into effect. The new toy and revolutionary tool tempts us with the idea that it will solve our struggles. There are certainly situations where this tool is useful and the best alternative. They’ve been designed so that anyone who wants to pay the money can use it, regardless of their purpose.

One of the things I do as a volunteer, is to scan a sheet once a month to e-mail into the office. I also add the information from that sheet into my own spreadsheet. In addition, I have a file with that original sheet, since that sheet is clearer than the scanned sheet. Oh, and I keep a copy of each e-mail with that attachment. How many copies of this one piece of data do I need? I have fallen into the trap of digital clutter, which I only recently recognized. (I’ve been doing this for almost three years!)

I cannot help but wonder – having this wonderful ability to have so many things digitally available, does that not increase our ability to “hoard?” Those digital files don’t really take up that much space, right? There is no visible clue that we are holding onto more than we actually need. It would be simple to forget about the things that were supposed to be only temporary. Those “what if I need this one day” questions entice us to simple scan it in, adding clutter. Maybe only to our hard drive, but clutter is clutter.

Despite some of the possible detractions, I will keep this technology in mind. It is not for me at this moment, but I am still tempted. That physical cost is more than I am willing to spend and I need to plan how to not lose my time to it when we do get it. I might sound like a broken record, but whatever tool luring us with making our lives easier comes with caveats. The more I look around, the more I am aware of these temptations for making our lives easier have hidden costs that come with them.

Everyone Should Read … Crucial Conversations

In case you haven’t noticed, I do not make such absolute statements often. In fact, I dislike and disagree with most statements that leave little room for flexibility. Yet, I keep finding myself thinking that this book, Crucial Conversation: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, & Al Switzler, is a book that everyone should read. Period.

The first time that I was aware of thinking that everyone should read this book was at one of my ToastMaster’s meetings. I approached one of the members after the meeting. I was not angry or frustrated, I felt compassion for the situation I knew that person was in, and that I needed to speak up about some of my own limits. They ended up walking away from me after looking down dejectedly and saying “yeah.” I felt bad; it did not go the way I had intended. In no way did I want that person to feel bad, what I did want was for certain things to not happen again.

This is one of the reasons I am sure that the book stresses that it should be referred to regularly, using it as a workbook. Many pieces play into having a successful crucial conversation. Then you have to factor in the other person and their state of mind. I had managed to use some of the tools they talk about, but definitely needed to pay more attention to some others.

One of the things that I appreciated about the book was that it did not feel like they were blaming anyone. What mattered was that it was a situation between two people, and both people needed to be in a place to have the conversation. It does offer some tools to help you set the stage so that the other person can feel comfortable having the conversation. In truth, we know that we can only change ourselves, so the focus is on providing skills to us, the reader.

Throughout the book, there are stories, from the business setting to the home. These show how to use the skills they are talking about and illustrate their points well. Those examples helped me stay interested. Although it is a “business” book, it was an engaging read. Anybody can apply these skills in whatever situation.

A lot of us probably know many of these points, yet it is put together in a cohesive way that can increase the success of the conversations we have. Even if we do know all the information, it does not mean that we could not use some refreshers on those points. Having a successful crucial conversation is a complicated process. I would wager that not many of us do it as often as we would like!

Given my interaction at ToastMaster’s I had an immediate framework for what I had failed to do. The timing/place was wrong, since I approached at the end of the meeting while there were still a number of people milling around, it would not be as private. I also think that I did not make it “safe” enough, I was not as clear as I could have been that I sympathized with the reasoning behind their actions. Of course, I was also not finished with the book; I was apparently eager to try the things I was learning.

I appreciate the Crucial Skills newsletter from VitalSmarts and have been enjoying seeing the authors answering questions about different situations. It keeps many of the various skills in the forefront of my mind. I am also excited to read the next book, Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior.

If we could all master the skills presented in this book, the world would be even more amazing place with much less conflict. We would probably all be much happier too since we could comfortably speak up about the things bothering us and be heard. It all starts small; will you pick this book up?

Tackling One Room

No matter what your environment is like, choosing the room that you most want to get organized is where to start. What room do you just yearn to have some peace and organization in? This is your chosen room.

The simplest way to start is to walk into the chosen room, containers nearby, and look around. Find all the things that belong in another room. Put those items into the appropriate container. This is a great time to evaluate whether the item is something worth keeping. As you pick up something, look at it and think about it. Make a decision if you can.

It can be a good idea to have a pending area as well, a place for items that you cannot decide on at that moment. Of course, if you create a pending pile, you will need to make time to go through it at a later point.

This is also the time to pick up any trash, those loose pieces of paper that wander about or any trash that just was set aside. The idea is that you find all the things that do not belong in that room and remove them.

There are at least two ways to approach this. One way is to walk around the room focusing on one type of item, so all the things that belong in one other room are gathered up at one time. Then you do that for the next type of item, like gathering all the paper and trash.

I prefer the approach of focusing on one area within that room. You start with the coffee table for instance. It does not matter what is on it, you put all the items into their appropriate container, staying focused on the coffee table until that area is completed. Only then do you move on to another area within that room.

This is a great way to approach any room: from the storage areas like your basement or attic to any of the actual living spaces you have. It works for any degree or lack – of clutter. I admit that piles will accumulate in our living room, by the side of the couch to the coffee table. This is the way that I handle getting the room organized again. So, choose your room and dig in today.

What room would you choose to work on first?

Habits from Our Past

How often do we do things just because that is the way it’s been done? There is a story that has circled the Internet many times, and different versions exist. You may have heard of the pot roast whose ends are cut off before putting it in the pan. It is just the way it has been done, but it turns out that the only reason it began, was that it would not have fit in the pan otherwise. In the meantime, generations have been cutting off perfectly good meat for no other reason than “that is the way my family does it”. This certainly sounds anecdotal, though carries a message for us. What do we do simply because that is the way it has been done?

It’s easy to just do things the way we’ve seen them done. How often do we stop and think about whether it works for us and the way we do things? Or that we dislike doing some things due to our previous experiences?

I strongly dislike drying dishes. Growing up, I was in charge of drying dishes. I rarely washed dishes. I became genuinely curious why this happened, so a few years back I asked my mom. Although it was not a definitive answer, the theory was that when she was growing up, she was in charge of drying dishes and came to dislike it. How interesting and actually funny! It reminded me of the pot roast.

We are shaped in various ways by our past. If it benefits the way we do things, great. If it creates more work for us, then it might be time to make changes.

Many people grew up with a day that was devoted to cleaning the house. It was the day that all the dusting and vacuuming was done. A good friend of mine prefers this way of doing things and energetically dives in each week. I personally cringe at the thought and immediately feel overwhelmed. I found another approach that appeals to me more, where 5 days of each week I do some cleaning, so that the whole house is cleaned regularly.

Are there things that you can do differently that will make your life easier? Even small changes can make a huge difference to your energy level and the amount you get accomplished. Are you storing things where and in the way that you use them? What minor changes can you make to simplify your life?

Preparing to Purge

As FlyLady says, “You cannot organize clutter.” I am sure many people wish this were not true. The very idea of having to go through stuff and make decisions about what to keep and what to let go causes many people to shudder. It can be so tedious and often emotional. Sorting and organizing can be a time consuming process. As organizers, we sometimes forget that this process can be foreign and unfamiliar to others. Therefore, I am breaking the process down and sharing the critical steps to embarking on the task of sorting and purging.

The first thing you need to consider when beginning, this is to include in your time frame, any time you need to get it completely out of your possession. If you want to try to sell it on e-Bay, this takes time, so you need to make sure that you make the time to work on the process of it. Only you can judge whether you can be disciplined to take photos and create the listing. Until it is in the mail, you are not done. This applies just as much to donating it, so until it is out of your house, garage, and trunk, you are not finished. It is important to schedule the time for these things as you tackle purging your belongings.

Unless you have boundless energy and never get overwhelmed, start small. You do not need to accomplish everything in one day. Set aside a small amount of time for working on this, even using a timer so that you have a clear stopping point. It is so easy to get overwhelmed. This can happen to anyone, whether there is a lot of stuff around or even if there is minimal clutter. Overwhelm happens and it is something to avoid if you can. When we get overwhelmed, we often dread working on that thing again. “Ugh, the last time I started doing that….” FlyLady also comments that things did not get that way overnight, and therefore cannot get fixed overnight. If you start and stay small, you can help yourself stay motivated and productive.

It is important to decide on ONE area in which to focus. After you have chosen the area, have some containers to gather things in, you want to remain in that room until you are done working. If you want to donate items, you’ll need a container for those things. A trash bag is also a useful thing as you are working and cannot get distracted by going into another room. You might want a container for the things that belong in other rooms, as the goal is to wait to return those items to their appropriate room until you have completed working in that space. I often will have two containers for misplaced things, one for the upstairs rooms and one for the downstairs rooms. If you have even more stuff, you can have a container for each room.

In thinking about and planning to sort and purge your belongings, ideally you want to make time to regularly review and purge things again. By setting up some time to do this periodically, you can limit the burden and tedium for the future. You can adopt the approach of each time you bring something into the house, something else must leave. I find this somewhat extreme, though it certainly can be helpful. Find a time that makes sense to you to review things. If you rotate seasonal clothing, this is a great time to go through the past season’s clothes and part with what you did not wear. The key is to make time to review things.

These are the keys to getting you ready to sort and purge in the process of becoming more organized. It is important to consider these points before digging in and doing anything. Here is where you lay the groundwork that will help you succeed in the often tedious process of getting organized. You might notice that there is very little action at this level, yet without considering these points, it is easy to get distracted or overwhelmed. Both of these things can get in the way of making the progress you are aiming for, so it is helpful to factor these things into your plans.

Ask Yourself These Questions during Organizing

So you’ve decided that it might be time to go through your belongings and try to decided what to keep and what to get rid of? This can be a challenging process, it requires making decisions about the things that we have some attachment to or even love. Unfortunately this is an important activity, we cannot keep buying things without figuring out what we can part with as our homes have limited space. People have such a varied approach to this process: from the person who has no qualms parting with their stuff to the person who holds onto it – dearly concerned with that “might need it one day” mentality. Then there are the ones that fall somewhere in-between, where they hold onto things for a while and then seem to reach a point where they are fed up and are happy to purge with ruthless abandon. Regardless of where you find yourself, there are questions that you can ask yourself as you tackle the sorting and purging process.

1. Do you love it?
2. Do you need it?
3. When was the last time you used it?
4. When is the next time you anticipate using it?
5. How hard would it be to replace?
6. How many do you have like it?
7. Do you have room for it? Are you willing to make room for it?
8. If you knew someone would love/need it more, would you give it away to them?

Some people believe that the first two questions are the only ones worth asking. This is especially valuable if you live in a small space. If you do not love it and you do not need it, it needs to find a new home. I understand this philosophy, and in many ways these are the two most important questions to ask yourself. They encourage you to think twice before simply keeping that gift you secretly dislike. You do not actually love that gift, and you certainly don’t need it, so how do you handle that non-cherished gift? If you do not need nor love something, is there ever a good reason to use your valuable space to store it?

It can be hard to part with everything that does not pass the criteria of the first two questions. Questions 3 through 6 can help you whittle down things further. Maybe you really like something, but when you start to think about it, you realize that you have not used it in 5 years. Then it can be easier to decide to pass it along to the next person. Answering these questions as well helps you see what you might be keeping that is simply taking up space without giving you much value.

I like asking people whether they have room for it. The ultimate goal of going through things is so that your things are uncluttered. You want to be able to find and get the things that you need and want. Yet, we all have our own values and cherish things that someone else might look at with a puzzled expression. I see how I can cling to certain things, and no one else seems to understand. With this in mind, if you can make room for it, then keep it. When we are reluctant to part with something, the next question is to figure out what you would rather give up in order to make room for it. I think I have shared the story of getting rid of shoes to make room in the bottom of the closet for books. This is a good example. It was an unlikely place for books, yet reflects the value of them and the lack of need for excess shoes. It directs you to figure out where your priorities really are, and what are you willing to do in order to make space for what you determine is important enough.

I will briefly talk on the idea of passing along your things if you knew someone else would cherish it more. Sometimes the idea of simply dropping your belongings at the local thrift store seems like an amorphous thing. Does it become less so if you posted it (or had someone do it for you) on FreeCycle? When people use FreeCycle, there is little doubt that the person requesting that very item you listed wants or needs it. You often have the option of picking from several people. You know that it is going to be appreciated instead of potentially sitting on a store shelf for a while. You could apply this to friends and family as well if you knew there was a need.

There may be other questions to ask yourself. Any question that will make you pause or even stop to think about the value of keeping the item is valuable. It is too easy to gloss over the process and simply keep the things. The truth is that if you have room for it, uncluttered and functional space, until there is a drive to go through it, it can stay as it is for the time being. I am an advocate of working with the space that is available and limiting yourself to that space. If or when that space needs more breathing room, that is the time to start the process of going through it. Then these questions can help you with making the decisions about what stays and goes.